I Do Not Care Much
I do not care much for cats,
They look silly, when they wear hats,
They are difficult to keep in a flat,
Oh, how they suddenly will go splat.
I do not care much for dogs,
They bark and mess like dirty hogs,
Oh, how fitting they would be amongst a
collective of logs,
burning bright below the stars.
However, I care for babies,
And also, pretty ladies.
I notice that the Lifehack entry in the blog roll right now is "6 Signs that Your Family is ready for a Pet". I guess the speaker of this poem is not!
ReplyDeleteThat said, no matter where the inspiration for this poem came from, it did a remarkable job of imposing restrictions on a task where the freedoms were great, and perhaps too great for most writers to use productively. So, that is a good didactic take-away: If you don't get enough restrictions in the task, you can always put in a few more.
The one line that breaks the rhyme scheme is noticeable: "burning bright below the stars" - a rewrite might make the poem more interesting (pattern is good, but variation in pattern is better). Right now you have a-a-a-a b-b-b-c d-d as rhyme scheme, but a better one would be a-a-a-b c-c-c-b d-d with the obvious b-rhyme being 'cars' (and 'stars')...
I could be cheeky and call it a 'near-rhyme', but I will be honest and say that you are right.
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