Author function: poet
Notion: fear
Oh how the fear consumes me
that one day I may be gone
that one day I may be forgotten
like a shipwreck lost at sea
Oh how the fear consumes me
Oh how the fear eats me to my core
takes my being before I'm gone
Takes my mind and heart
takes my will to swim to shore
Oh how the fear eats me to my core
For the fear of death takes my life
I become the thing I fear
For I died a while ago
not with body but with soul and mind
for the fear of death takes my life
Oh how the fear consumes me
that I am already gone
that I already forgot myself
and am already lost at sea
oh how the fear consumes me
Oh what is a life if lived in fear?
what is a moment if not enjoyed?
And if all moments become just that
then what will make my dimpled cheeks appear?
Oh what is a life if lived in fear?
Reflection:
In this poem, the repetition of lines in the stanzes and the rhymes and rhythms all work together to show the reader or listener a specific emotion, namely that of fear. If the meaning of the poem had to be written by someone writing in a more prosa-like form, for example a scriptor, the meaning would be described in more detail, yet with less obvious feeling than in the poem. The poem would also visually and formvise be changed into a prosa form and the rhymes and rhythms would most likely disappear when doing so. This would leave less to the imagination as it may take away some opportunity for personalised interpretation, yet it would call for a much more detailed explanation of the fear of dying in a more academic language.
Would a scriptor necessarily use academic language? It would be a more fruitful comparison to discuss the different ways in which a poem and a piece of prose fiction would represent the notion of fear. One of the golden rules of exposition (which prose is great at) is "Show, don't tell". How might that work with fear?
ReplyDeleteThe poem seems a little heavy, perhaps burdened by its conventional use of apostrophe, i.e. the "Oh" address no less than 8 times. It might be more effective without. I liked this line the best "For I died a while ago" - and even that would be better without the "For". Weed out some filler, perhaps?
This poem stirred some emotions up in me. I like the idea that the fear of losing life actually caused the speaker to diminish the quality of his/her life greatly. Furthermore, I enjoyed the slightly unconventional rhyme scheme.
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