The handmaiden

Dear mamma,

     I am writing you this letter to inform you that I have to do the right thing. I know too much and I have seen too much not to say anything. The Duke pays me no attention, but I guess that is just how it is for our kind. Thus, due to his ignorance he does not know of my knowledge of the gruesome events that have taken place at this mansion.

     I remember the day father dropped me off here to serve the Duke to help provide for our family. Naturally, I should have been delighted to even get employment, but I was rather sad to be leaving school, which had also been a great privilege to attend. As you remember, I used to be quite clever but now I feel that everyday bits of my intelligence are slowly withering away. The Duchess used to be rather kind towards me, and despite convincing myself otherwise, she might have preferred me over the others of my sort. Perhaps due to fulfilling my duties properly or perhaps because of my intellect, which she rather enjoyed on numerous occasions when she was feeling lonesome. On these nights, the Duchess would tell me stories about her first meeting with the Duke, and how she fell instantly in love with his being despite his demons and the arranged circumstance. Though through the years she felt a larger distance growing between them, and so despite her better judgement she started to engage in inappropriate relations with other gentlemen. This drove the Duke mad and he was consumed with rage and jealousy, but the Duchess did nothing to ease his troubled mind as she felt greater every day and took pleasure in the Duke’s despair. So the Duke grew madder and madder every day. One night the Duchess came to see me, she had been crying and had a mark on her left cheek. She told me that the Duke and her had been having an argument and he had, in an act of rage, smacked her across her face while saying “one of these days I am going to put an end to you”, which had left the Duchess feeling quite fearful. The following days the Duke apologized to the Duchess for his behavior and promised that he did not mean the things he had said. The Duchess forgave him and told me that she thought they could eventually return to who they used to be. However, a few nights after, I heard a terrible scream coming from the master suite, and I immediately got up from my bed, and lit a candle to find my way towards the scream. Suddenly, I heard four men coming towards me, and so I hid behind a pillar so they would not see me. They were carrying the Duchess by her arms and legs, but she was no longer screaming. They took her outside and put her in their carriage and went off. I stood there in the corridor stunned for a moment, until I realized that I had to get back to my chamber before anyone would see that I had gone. The following day, the employees started to question where the Duchess had gone, and so the Duke informed us that the Duchess had left the mansion late at night and would not be returning, and no questions regarding the subject would be allowed at this moment. The people immediately accepted his statement and went back to their chores. It has been a few weeks now since that night, and I have not been able to disregard what I saw and what I know. It is therefore that I write you this letter mamma, to notify you that I have to do what is right, which will eventually result in my dismissal from my position at the estate and perhaps worse. I apologize for the embarrassment and the disgrace I project unto our family. I hope that you will understand, this is simply something I have to do.    

Sincerely Kathrine