This is the class blog for the class in Creative Writing, Spring 2017, at Aalborg University, Denmark.
Sunday, February 19, 2017
The Grace of Mine
My
love once told me that a warm day of June can't match my grace. And that as long
as his words hang in mid air, his words would be true. My grace will live on.
Confession: Had to cheat with mid air... I know it is mid-air, and also that linger would be much more suitable. But you know, that darn one-syllable rule.
You found the one-syllable rule restrictive, but you stuck with it nicely. There's always synonyms - that is the nice thing about a rich language such as English. Grace could have been varied, for instance with 'poise'. 'Last' is also a good verb, perhaps followed by a few adverbs. As for the story requirement, you changed the view-point from the speaker's to the addressee's, which of course is fine. But that would also give you an opportunity to show her/his independent view-point, which you don't.
Confession: Had to cheat with mid air... I know it is mid-air, and also that linger would be much more suitable. But you know, that darn one-syllable rule.
ReplyDeleteYou found the one-syllable rule restrictive, but you stuck with it nicely. There's always synonyms - that is the nice thing about a rich language such as English. Grace could have been varied, for instance with 'poise'. 'Last' is also a good verb, perhaps followed by a few adverbs.
ReplyDeleteAs for the story requirement, you changed the view-point from the speaker's to the addressee's, which of course is fine. But that would also give you an opportunity to show her/his independent view-point, which you don't.