As I make my path through the large mass,
Where people show their loyalty;
Under the beaming lights and loud bass,
I look about and feel empty.
As I make my choice to stay a bit,
Still with a black hole in my chest;
The feigned fun makes me utterly lit,
Yet sometimes I ought to give it rest.
As I make my night come to an end,
While I’m feeling a bit funky;
And trying my best to not offend,
Sick of always smiling
monkey.
This reminds me of being at Jomfru Ane Gade at 2 AM on a Friday. Too many people, too much noise and little patient left.
ReplyDeleteYour sentence "always smiling monkey" is probably my favorite out of the ones I have seen, as it seems to have several meanings and it fits perfectly within the structure: I for instance choose to believe 'monkey' is meant as a way of smiling, meaning you are smiling in a goofy manner and thus implying you are drunk. But I'm sure others have different interpretations. Awesome and honest work.
I agree with 'Killjoy', this poem is really relatable and paints a picture of being lonely and sad even though you are surrounded by parties and people. Your use of desciptive language is great and really makes the reader able to imagine the scene.
DeleteThis is a very good backwards phrase, indeed. As for the poem's sentiment, I thought it could have been a bit clearer, esp. with regards to the word 'lit' which seems usually positive, but is used here where a negative word would be expected...
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