To-day we have naming of hot boyband members. Yesterday,
We had daily affirmations to change. And to-morrow morning,
We shall have time to go look at boys. But to-day,
To-day we have naming of hot boyband members. Monica’s blonde hair and bare skin
Glistens like coral in the neighboring gardens,
And to-day we have naming of hot boyband members.
This is the joker of the group. And this
Is the mysterious one of the group, whose use you will see,
When you are given your copies of their albums. And this is the best singer, who’s allure
Which in your case is quite difficult to understand. The sun shines on her beautiful face, as she moves with silent, eloquent gestures, who’s allure
Which in our case is quite difficult to understand.
This is the best dancer, who is always released
As soon as the music starts. And please do not let me
See anyone talking amongst yourselves. You can make this quite easy
If you only pay attention now. Her body
looks fragile even in motion, never letting anyone see
Her beautiful smile.
And here you can see is the so-called background members. The purpose of these
is to look good, as you see. We can see them moving
Rapidly backwards and forwards on stage: we call this
pleasing the eye. And rapidly backwards and forwards
The beautiful Monica dances as she eases my eyes with her body’s movements:
They call it pleasing the eye.
They call it pleasing the eye: it is perfectly easy to see why
When you see them smiling and dancing on stage: the best dancer,
And the best singer, and the mysterious one, and the background members,
Which in our case might be difficult to understand; and the beautiful Monica
Dancing in the neighboring gardens and the dancing backwards and forwards,
For to-day we have naming of boyband members.
This is an interesting, and fun take on Reed's poem. It sits somewhere between parody in the first voice and its subject matter, and pastiche in the second voice's loving caress of Monica's beauty. As a result of your poem being both parody and pastiche at the same time the poem gets a little opaque. Are we to see the second voice as a queered, feminine voice?
ReplyDeleteThe Reed structure and most of his catch-phrases are realized very well, ensuring the reader will recognize the original and your poem's relation to it.
I liked the mix between serious internal struggles and the sense of parody in the poem, which works very well. The structure was great and the poem is well written. Finally, I also liked the picture attached to the poem, since it is the perfect illustration of the poem: A soldier, which is a serious profession, but drawn in a funny cartoon style.
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