A Trip to Copenhagen
In the
afternoon I stepped out of the bus
and into the streets of Copenhagen. My first
though was that it was a scene taken right out of the
Hunger Games. As I walked through the streets, I could hear
conversations from the many people around me. “He is
just the worst, such a douchebag!” “He really is” “And he just treats me so bad” “It's so good
that you got rid of him”“really!” “but I just have to” “there is nothing you
HAVE to do”. These teenage girls sat talking about this young douchebag
while eating their Cheasy skyr. Behind them I saw doves fighting for
leftovers from the Burger King around the
corner, where people were lining up in front of an elevator that was out of order. Further down one of the smaller streets
a child riding a bike could be heard yelling “Look at
me, look at me, I’m doing it!”, until the bicycle
chain broke and the enthusiasm turned into crying. Some teenagers walked
past her while discussing one of the girls’ broken nail,
when suddenly a boy ran past them shouting “shotgun!”. On one side of the street, the
local grocery store had put out spring onions, red onions and red potatoes,
showcasing healthy living with Kennedy’s Irish
Bar catching an early start on the other side of the street with Blackbird by Beatles on the speakers. Ironic. As I
looked at the people there I saw everyone
looking as if they were guarding their own personal ships as if they were all
Jack Sparrow on the Black Pearl hanging onto
their anchors in failed attempts to stay grounded. There at the end of the
street was a stop sign, it was a dead end, but I was on foot, so I decided I would just
keep going. If we had just stuck to walking there would be more than simply one way to choose on this earth.
As I walked down all the roads I desired, the sun was starting to set over
Copenhagen, and the darker it got, the more I wondered where the starry night had gone. Maybe it disappeared in
pollution.
I like the mood your writing creates and how your descriptions are so detailed of what you hear and see. I also like how you incorporated the different words almost without making lists. I think your last line "Maybe it disappeared in pollution" adds a nice, funny touch to the ending. Well done!
ReplyDeleteThe pace of the writing is similar to the pace of the city, while also having a good amount of descriptions!
ReplyDeleteThis got a little rushed towards the end when the text moved from observations of the mundane, everyday aspects of life in Copenhagen to more abstract ideas. Still the travel writing protocol is met in every way, although some of the local color/exotic others (characters) could have been developed more.
ReplyDeleteThe ingredients were well hidden, esp. a couple of the birds, and there was just one really ugly list (the grocery store items). The painting title and the politician were both really coolly integrated.
You manage to catch the atmosphere and moreover, I like how you manage to incorporate the words very naturally in relation the surroundings.
ReplyDeleteI especially like how you have incorporated the birds, very clever.
A very cute example of travel writing, I like the way you made most of the words fit in naturally in relation to the story, especially how you chose not to go with the obvious choice when incorporating the word "Blackbird". Very clever to use most of the words in terms of what is happening around you and not to you :)
ReplyDelete